The Zen of Tiempo, Vez & Rato
Some of us Anglophones disdain the phrase ‘at this point in time’ It is a redundancy that probably made its inventor look articulate but which today is so much filler. I once had a supervisor who had very little to say, but she never had to pausebecause she could always use these five syllables when [...]
Fun at the Fair
Panajachel to host patron saint festivities in October St. Francis of Assisi was, among other things, the patron of animals and the environment. So it is fitting that fair week in the city named for him, San Francisco Panajachel, will include a ceremony to bless the animals. The environment will also be a theme, with [...]
Creepy Carp Haunt the Lake
As if the ingress of bully bass to Lake Atitlán were not bad enough (see Revue August 2011, Lake Views, page 88), another alien may be even more harmful. At least since 2002, carp of the genus Cyprinus have been appearing in fishermen’s trawling nets. No one knows when they got there, nor what to [...]
Arthur Tewes Kennedy II
1923-2011 Long before I knew Arthur Kennedy, who passed last month at 87, I benefited from his legacy. So have you, if you are among the millions who have traveled Guatemala’s stretch of the Pan American Highway. He was in charge of much of the construction of what remains the country’s principal artery, and its [...]
Bad-Ass Bass Rain from the Sky
53 years ago, an airplane wrought sudden, significant alterations in Lake Atitlán’s food chain Flying fish inhabit oceans, not lakes. Well, except for one sunny day in 1958. If you were looking at Lake Atitlán then, you would have seen big fish on the fly. They arrived in tubs welded into what was, judging from [...]
Crisscross the U.S. — Without Ever Leaving Guatemala
Homesick U.S. natives living down here can visit Hawaii, Alaska, San Francisco, San Antonio, Los Angeles, St. Louis, Chicago and maybe Philadelphia all in one day without ever leaving Guatemala. And you may do so without a passport or a Star Trek transporter room. I will prove it to you. To get started you need [...]
The Power of Guatemalan Roses
In May, the fancy for mothers turns to roses—which have more than meets the eye or nose. Not all plants sport flowers, but those that do use them to mate with others of their species. Appropriately, we use them to hail and express love, especially in February and May. Roses in particular are favored: red [...]
Muleback Hosanna in Guatemala
The Oddkins-Bodkins odyssey of how La Antigua’s patron image left town Your drive from La Antigua to Guatemala City retraces a procession trod in 1778 by the foremost Antiguan of the day. Being a mute statue, he raised no objection to the move. But so many others did object that the authorities making out his [...]
50 Years of Divine Comedy in Guatemala
One summer in my adolescence, I went to the library and checked out Dante Alighieri’s voyage to the other side of the world, a trip that preceded that of Columbus by nearly two centuries. It was Dante’s imagination, rather than prevailing winds, that took him (and me) there. The trip, whose itinerary included Heaven, Hell [...]
“Mad Dog Writer” seeks that one special person. Is it you?
Sorry girls, but this is not a thousand-word personal ad dressed up as a column. That is bad news for all you babes who cannot resist hairless middle-aged nerds with mismatched socks and a history of unmedicated bipolarity. Instead, I am seeking one special person, not for romantic companionship but to satisfy my curiosity. This [...]
Panajachel to Host the 18th Annual Cycle Messenger World Championships
The following cities all have something in common: Sydney, Berlin, London, Toronto, New York, Barcelona, Zurich, San Francisco, Tokyo and Panajachel. Wait a minute—Panajachel? The commonality is that all of them, whether world-class metropolis or funky tourist burgs, have hosted, or will host, the prestigious Cycle Messenger World Championships (CMWC). This month, the event comes [...]
A Tale of Two Generals
These republics did not have to fight either Spain or Mexico for their independence. But they did fight each other during the Federation period (1824-1839).
Dr. Lee Valenti 1928-2010
Dr. Lee Valenti, who like Huckleberry Finn fled from American consumerism’s attempts to “sivilize” her, has died in Panajachel. She was 82. The former literature professor left her job at New York’s Hoffstra University in 1975, after long involvement in anti-war, civil rights, and environmental movements. With her divorce complete and her children grown, she [...]
Guatemala Reconquers the Cute Lid
“Cute Lid City” might be what U.S. truckers would name Tapachula if they drove down this far. Why? Well, a tapa is a lid, and chula means cute. Long before truckers existed, the city was called the Pearl of Soconusco. You may or may not agree with this labeling. But if you are reading this, [...]
Heart of the Forest
Showcases Mushrooms and Temescales If snack wrappers blemishing the Guatemalan countryside dishearten you, take heart. There are places you can go where litter is not only unseen, its demise is being plotted. They are snapshots of Guatemala’s glory before the modern container revolution. And, primero Dios, they are foretastes of the coming restoration of that [...]
Gerald Edward Smith (1949-2010)
Jerry Smith, who passed last month at 61, always reminded me of people I knew in college who were manifestly brighter than I was, yet liked me anyway, and listened to my opinions, and brought out the best in others. Centuries from now, children will still be pondering the faces of their ancestors, immortalized by [...]
How I Got Gelded and Respected
We all recall that Rodney Dangerfield’s one-liner, “I get no respect,” became his middle name. His fans (including me) suspected that before turning pro, Rodney worked countless, tedious day jobs. But there was (and still is) something that any man can do to summon for himself beaucoup respect, one that will knock him on his [...]
Moulin Rouge — The Musical Comes to Panajachel
May 28 and 29 Vermonters Andy Hauty and Joby Dan’Sy, who brought A Midsummer Night’s Dream, The Producers and West Side Story to Panajachel, are bringing this month their rendition of Moulin Rouge. The couple have pleased audiences of locals and weekenders for more than four years with their troupe, Atitlán Youth Theatre. Their productions [...]
Nice Paca Finds
I will never forget my 1988 introduction to Pacas. I refer not to women named Francisca (Paca, for short), although I have met those, too. Fewer all the time, however, since my wife disdains Pacas in any form, capital P or small P. In downtown Guatemala, during siesta hour (still observed in the city back [...]
The Objective Virtues of Guatemalan Coffee
One criticism of columnists is that too often, we cover old ground. When we run out of real ideas, we attempt to build bridges to Readerland on rainy, or writer’s-blocked, days with off-the-shelf topics. I have read more than one column about coffee, for instance. Everyone has experience with coffee, so it is as safe [...]
The Care and Feeding of Tax Collectors
Lawyers may not be the most hated profession, even though entire books of lawyer jokes exist. Every non-lawyer has a war story about a run-in with a lawyer, whether here or in the old country. But if non-lawyers disdain lawyers, whom do lawyers pick on? Tax collectors, perhaps. Maybe I will write a book of [...]
A Walking Tour of “Old” Panajachel
Panajachel is firstly a walking city. If you drive in it, you soon tire of the paucity of two-way streets. And every rocky contour of those streets registers on the pant-seat of every chicken-bus rider. Tuktuks look fun, until you actually ride in one. And much of Pana is not overly bike-friendly. So, unless pogo sticks catch on, feet remain the preferred vehicle.
Charlie Brown in Santiago Atitlán
Or, How the Peanuts gang finds relief from the big northern syndicate this Christmas When I was a child, the holiday season’s shortest half-hour passed during the broadcast of Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown. That, and the other seasonal Peanuts specials, were always over too quickly. These cartoons enraptured everyone—even grownups who otherwise despised cartoons, like [...]
The Blooming of Lake Atitlán
Panajachel unites and digs with defiance In The Green Felt Jungle, the story is told of a dapper man in pinstripes who rides a Cadillac into Las Vegas one night, seeking the neonized excitement of that gilded city. But he finds little more than a dreary gas station. “Where is Las Vegas?” he asks the [...]
The Guatemalan Hospitality Bug Bites All
In Guatemala, it is easier to “just drop in” on your friends than it would be in Minneapolis or Melbourne. One reason, I think (write me if you disagree) is that until the end of the previous century telephone calls were something you rarely tried at home. That was when Italy’s telecommunications monopoly brought Gua-temala’s [...]
Why October 12 is Not “Colón Day”
I do not know how many of you in Readerland wonder why we say “Christopher Columbus” instead of Cristóbal Colón. But this time the wonderment comes from within this magazine. Our copy editor, Matt Bokor, has decided to flatter me by thinking I might be able to run with this question. OK, Matt — here [...]
Would the Real Independence Day Please Stand Up?
Guatemala, El Salvador and their sisters did not win independence on Sept. 15 At our house in Panajachel, July 4 is Independence Day for two reasons. As citizens of the United States, my sons and I observe it in some fashion. But July 4 is also the day that my youngest, Aaron Donald Coop, marks [...]
Requisition-less Water
Highland hospital slakes its thirst and reduces its paperwork—a need, discovered by accident, is met General Jack Ripper, the villain in Dr. Strangelove, uttered a single true statement during his long paranoiac rant. To Group Captain Lionel Mandrake, his hapless audience, Ripper rhetorically asked, “Did you know that 70 percent of you is water, Mandrake?” [...]
Thomas Griffin
Tom Griffin, Lake Atitlán’s resident Elvis impersonator and yodeler, has died. The longtime resident of Santa Cruz la Laguna was 76. He was born in Oklahoma and raised in Texas. Lake Atitlán expats called him “Mississippi Tom” to distinguish him from another Texan, also named Tom, and because he settled in Mississippi in the sixties [...]
Guatemala’s National Dish Revealed!
Twenty months after her first and, to date, sole visit to Guatemala, my niece Holly Myrick remains stricken by Guatemala. In March she did her seventh-grade country report, and she could have chosen any of Earth’s 197 sovereignties. Reader, you guessed it—she didn’t choose Djibouti. It helped to have a Guatemala expert (so reputed) in [...]
Loading ...
Recent Feedback